Wednesday, October 04, 2006

DC Editorial: Time for a House Cleaning of Biblical Proportions

It is time for heads to roll. Accordingly, I have some in mind who need to resign immediately:

As all good Republicans should, I, too, call for the resignation of Speaker Dennis Hastert.

And I call for the resignation of the entire Republican leadership team in the House. They are all responsible.

I call for the resignation of Pres. Bush, for he is the leader of the Republican Party, and the fish rots from the head down.

I call for the resignation of all Republicans who have lusted in their hearts and/or have behaved judgmentally toward their Demo brethren for like conduct.

I call for the resignation of VP Cheney, for he will take over when Pres. Bush resigns and he used to work at Halliburton.

I call for the resignation of Laura Bush, for her inadequacy in mothering and in keeping George attentive to the business of Congress.

I call for the resignation of all Republicans who agree with me on almost all issues.

I call for the resignation of Karl Rove, as Democrats were right to nip this problem in the bud far earlier.

I call for the resignation of the St. Petersburg Times staff.

I call for the resignation of the Miami Herald Staff.

I call for the resignation of the Fox News staff, except for those who need to remain behind to cover my next presser.

I call for the resignation of those not learned enough to appreciate the value of the medicine that would be a Congress run by Pelosi, Murtha, Frank, Rangel, Conyers, et al.

I call for the resignation of those who fail to understand the importance of Republicans being 100% virtuous so that they can be a perfect foil to the 100% scuzbag concentration in the Democrat Party.

I call for the resignation of Tom Delay from his current job, because his last resignation was not good enough.

I call for the resignation of all gay Republicans who have not been outed.

I call for the resignation of all straight Republicans who do not realize yet they really are only straight because they hate gay people and are acting out of prejudice.

I call for the resignation of all Republican elected officeholders, and I further call upon them to concede their respective elections to their Democrat opponents, so that we can clean house and start over.

I call for the resignation of all Republicans who do not agree with me on every single issue.

I call for the resignation of Republicans who do not agree that endless cowardly groveling over the Mark Foley affair and/or the latest Demo talking point of the day is more important than fighting Militant Islam.

I call for the resignation of all Republicans who are not grave and apologetic for the immoral behavior of others.

I call for the resignation of every conservative media outlet but the Washington Times.

I call for the resignation of all Republicans who have read the Bible, except for those who have disclaimed any belief in said book.

I call for the resignation of all bloggers not profound enough too take themselves too seriously.

I call for the resignation of every Republican not wise enough to shoot a big honking hole in their stinking foot to prove how virtuous they are.

Yea, I call for the resignation of every Republican who doesn't stoop on command and place a big kiss on the vertical smile of the Democrats in order to be liked and accepted.

I call for the resignation of all those meanie conservative Republicans in the Senate for reminding the RINOs to act like Republicans.

I call for the resignation of all conservative pundits who have not groveled at the feet of their idoeological opponents to lap up approval and strokes upon their odious heads.

Lo, I call for the resignation of all Republicans. Get them out of here, so that we can clean out Washington.

Verily, I call for the resignation of all Republicans with the cajones to fight real evil and not let Democrats define what is right, wrong, and important.

Behold, I call for the resignation of every one who is not a Democrat, for we need to start over fresh.

That should about do it. Oh, wait ...

I call for the resignation of Mark Foley. Oh, yeah. He's already gone. In that case, never mind my venting.