Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Burglars in the Neighborhood ... Part II

Note: This DC exclusive mini-series is inspired by those contend that Pres. Bush is a “war criminal, that the Iraq War is “illegal”, “unjust”, “the wrong war at the wrong time”, “ill-advised”, etc., but nonetheless claim they “support our troops.” This series is fictional, but it is based upon current events. Any resemblance between any character herein and/or between current world events is not designed to impugn the patriotism of any Leftist … as we know that the Left loves the military, “supports the troops” and it is completely outlandish to even imply otherwise.

For a recap, here's Part I.

The Captain of the Force, he returned to his men, still pondering the words of the Half-Delegate: “This mission is a waste, but go ahead.” These were words of support? Well, he tried to understand, for certainly all the people of the land would be behind the force as they tried to hunt down the criminals in the east.

That evening, the Captain explained what had occurred that day to his men. Some they understood, or thought they did. But most, they did not. “How can one say we are wasting our time and at the same time wish us well?,” a sergeant asked. Another crime fighter, a corporal said, “It seems that the Half-Delegate, he doesn’t like the policy we are carrying out. Can he then wish us well?” The Captain thought about these questions, and he reminded his men how all people in the land were free to believe as they wish about all manner of issues – both foreign and domestic. All were allowed to believe as they wished about matters of policy. But the Captain, too, wondered: Could they do so and support his men? And what were the effects of people voicing their views when his men were enacting the policy?

On this first night, at least, the morale of the Captain’s men was not good after the Half-Delegates expressions of support were discussed. But how a fellow countryman could not wish his men to succeed in their mission, this he did not understand. To compound matters, the mission had gotten decidedly tougher in recent weeks.

Later that week, the Captain went to the gate of the Neighborhood to see if the Half-Delegate would return. Surprisingly, the Half-Delegate was already there – seemingly waiting. “I did not know if I would have to wait to find you here,” the Captain said. “Ah, yes, Captain, I have been working on a project that I have just about finished,” the Half-Delegate explained. “What brings you here?”

The Captain then told of the meeting with his men and he sought further clairifcation about what it meant to “support" the work of the force. The Half-Delegate seem perplexed. "I have already told you that I, and the rest of the Half Who Do Not Support the Supreme Commander, we support you."

The Captain, he had many questions. So he asked the first one that came to his mind: "Well, you see. My men and I are about trying to get the Menace and his band of criminals. This is hard work, as you know, and the most important thing in these circumstances is having the land that we love behind us."

"Well, we are," said the Half-Delegate. The Captain was relieved. "I mean, let me explain," the Half-Delegate elaborated. "You are just like a ... a gun, you see ... and guns don't kill people. People do. And you're a good gun, a real keeper. It's not your fault that the Supreme Commander has sent you here." This comment dazed the Captain. But before he could start with the string of questions that were beginning to populate his mind, the Half-Delegate continued. For a roll, he was on. "Actually, Captain, the Supreme Commander has committed the Crime of the Century in bringing you and your men here to the Neighborhood to find the burglars. But you must complete the mission. I support you. I don't support the mission. But get on with it. We are behind you."

And with that, the Captain said, barely audibly, "But then are we not ... the ...", and his voice tailed completely off.

The Half-Delegate, he paid no attention to the Captain's reaction, but rather patted his bright and shiny contraption that he had just completed this morning. "And this, dear Captain, this is my new Yorktimes, equiped with a double-whammyforce microphone. This new Yorktimes, sir, I will use to pronounce my support of you and your men every day, right here at the gates to the Neighborhood. And it will also reach the people of the land. What do you think of that, Captain?"

"That's nice," the Captain half-heartedly offered. Then, the Half-Delegate stepped to the mike of the new Yorktimes and bellowed: "Listen up ... Good morning citizens of the Neighborhood. My name is the Half-Delegate, and might I remind you that Half of us we do not support the Supreme Commander. He is a criminal and a liar. And the mission he sent the force on is a crime. They have purportedly been sent here to fight crime, to catch burglars, but that is not so. The entire mission is and unnecessary waste and was dreamed up by the Supreme Commander for his own selfish, illegal reasons. We are so sorry for this. But the members of the force carrying out this criminal mission ... we support them. But, look on the bright side. The mission, which we/I do not support, has degenerated into a quagmire."

The Captain's mind raced as he heard these words. He knew that the mike, it was so loud that some of his men could surely hear. Furthermore, the walls to the Neigborhood of the Mother of All Menaces were near enough that her forces must surely hear this, as well. What would they think to hear people from the land denouncing the Supreme Commander? And the mission, which was the Captain's mission ... and his men's? Indeed, the Captains' men had already encountered criminals from the MOAM's neighborhood. Make sense, this did not. He was greatly troubled.

The Captain turned to leave without speaking. But the Half-Delegate stopped him, "Captain, wait. Before you go ..." The Captain turned, hoping to hear just for a fleeting second that maybe some mistake had been made. "Take this," the Half-Delegate said. "It's some baby wipes and sunglasses."

"Thanks a million," the Captain said. And with that, he double-timed back to check on his men.

To be continued ...