(DC entering room ... bustle as reporters take seats ... DC takes mike)
DC: Well, I'd like to thank you for coming. Happy New Year to you all. We saw snow all over Texas this holiday season. Very nice. And incredible. As you can see, in spite of some earlier confusion by some, I should say, one or two wayward souls ... I am indeed a man. And my name is ...
Unidentified female reporter in front row: Oh, my!! He's gor ... gorge ... (Loud thud heard.)
Unidentified male reporter in front row: I think she's passed out.
DC: Some one get a doc, quick. Dang, I didn't mean to startle any one. Goomba, get away from her! She doesn't need mouth-to-mouth! For the sake of all things decent, man!! Some one get a doc on the line!
(Programming note: Will return after medical attention provided to reporter.)