Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Actually on the air: Message from Demo Televangelist ...

I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. I caught this Democrat televangelist, the Rev. Val Hughes yesterday, broadcasting from his plush studios in Arkansas. I thought at first that he was a typical TV evangelist type, but his comments were a little different than some of his brethren on the right. I took the following down (I've transcribed phonetically ... for proper translation):

Friends, I woke up on Nov. 3 after th' lexion, and I will tell you, I saw it. I mean IT. I saw it when Jawn Kerry conceded. Brother John gave up, but we Democrats ... who are the party of values ... are not giving up. I saw it just as clear as the telee-prawmpter in front of me right now. The Republicans have stolen the values issue from us ... the Democrats ... who have always stood for values. We just ain't got the message out, people. I mean, dang, it's there. They stole values just like that Karl Rove -- and that is one evil, eeeevil man, people-- and his demonic minions hacked into the voting machines in Florida and Ohio to steal this 'lexion. The Bible says plain as day that stealin' is wrong. But the Republicans call themselves the party of values?

Lookie here. I have told you here on this program many times that the only thing between the pore and the pure is "u". And the the only thing between black people and the back of the B-U-S is "U-S". We are the party of values. And schoolin'. Them Republicans talk about the homosexuals tyin' the knot, abortion, the Pledge-a-'Legience and all them sorts of die-versions. But we know Jesus didn't come here to force people to do nothin'. He came to help poor people, to provide free medicine, soshicurity, and public schools. Look at all of them schools and hospitals named after churches. Why, you ask? Because the Bible says so, that's why. Jesus didn't say a word about no homosexual nuptials.

And war. Jesus said, "Blessed are peacemakers, diplomats and such". Jesus would not have voted for the $87 Billion. He did not favor war or no crusades. Moses said when he came down with the tablets, "Don't kill nobody." That's pretty clear: "Nobody". So ... how do the Republicans get off callin' themselves the party of values? Well, I will tell you they are not the party of Val Hughes. I am not standin' for it no more.

Rev. Hughes continued on, saying something about Moses "scolding the Israelis" when he came down from "that mountain in The Ten Commandments", but the "golden calf-worshipping Republicans blindly support the Israelis to this day" any way. He hit other hot button values issues, but you get the point of his scathing indictment. It is sure to fire up the Demos' values voter base.

John Kerry may have conceded "th' 'lexion", but the Demos are not going to concede the values issue to the Republicans any more. Now that the battle over values has been so ably joined, the Republicans had better be ready with a response.